Too Much and Not Enough
In this era of intense political unrest and heightened divisiveness, I have opted not to write about this topic until today. The primary reason I have not written about politics is that I find the subject to be quite uninteresting. I dislike politicians, generally, and have never found political issues to be personally meaningful. However, these days, even for those of us who manage our exposure to the news and social media, it is hard to avoid the subject.
Therapists have found themselves in a novel predicament since the 2016 election, with patients bringing their political views and strong sentiments into their therapy sessions. How is it possible for a therapist to remain neutral and objective, supporting patients in their struggles, while the therapist’s own feelings may run strongly in favor of one party or the other? It may be harder to keep from joining a patient in their passionate position that aligns with our own than to contain a temptation to engage in debate with one whose views are different. What is an appropriate role for a therapist in this unique situation?
One of the few people I enjoy discussing politics with is a male college student whose political views are different from mine. He is a patient who shares his opinions freely and asks me about mine. I answer him honestly. We engage in a dialogue in which I listen to his perspective and he listens to mine. We ask each other follow up questions and are genuinely curious about one another’s ideas. After a few minutes, we naturally move on to the more personal topics that brought him into therapy in the first place. He continues to respect me personally and professionally and accepts my guidance regarding his personal life with gratitude. He doesn’t care who I am voting for because it is irrelevant to our relationship. I don’t care who he is voting for because he is a human being who is trying to live in the world in the best way he possibly can and has chosen me to help him do that. I am honored that he trusts me enough to know that our difference in political views will not prevent me from supporting him in my role as his therapist.
As someone who does not find the content of politics compelling, but who does find human beings compelling, I have become curious about how the current political climate, superimposed on a global health crisis, is impacting myself and others emotionally, mentally and physically. One concept I have repeatedly heard throughout recent months is that it just feels like too much. What exactly does that mean and what can we do about it?
We are living through a highly unusual life experience in which the news is coming at us unavoidably at rapid speed, familiar and comforting distractions are at a minimum, and almost everything seems unpredictable and uncertain. This sounds to me like a recipe for a psychological state of overwhelm, or a feeling that this is all just too much. Too much information to absorb, too many new experiences to integrate, too much volatility in the institutions which had always seemed stable. On the other hand, there are not enough good options, not enough accessible resources and there is not enough time to process what is happening on a daily basis. Given the conditions we are living through, our nervous systems must be overloaded.
I avoid the news because I notice that the jarring and abrasive tone in which the information is presented irritates my nervous system. My physical body feels agitated by the undercurrent of hostility that pervades almost all political conversation. Updates on my phone intrude upon my day, bringing unwelcome pieces of unpleasant information. In recent weeks, I have noticed a new experience of tension in my jaw, exacerbated as I clench my teeth through nights of disrupted sleep. My body can’t relax these days. It hold the tension of trying to navigate a challenging reality. My jaw is letting me know that it is just too much. It is scary to write this with the awareness that I am one of the luckiest ones.
Too many stressors and too few resources have tipped the scales into position where we, as a society, are psychologically overwhelmed, making us vulnerable to depressed mood, anxiety, substance abuse and somatic symptoms. Even before the pandemic, even before 2016, we were less resilient to stress than we needed to be. We were using substances, including alcohol, food and prescriptions medications at alarming rates. The stress has only gotten worse.
One of the most useful concepts I ever learned (from well known yoga teacher Bryan Kest) was that how we experience stress is a reflection of how we are responding to our environment, rather than a reflection of our environment itself. How can we, as individuals, change our internal response to the external world?
Other than doing our part as individuals to vote or socially distance, most of us have no direct control over the political or medical environment. We can, however, learn to notice how we are impacted personally by the current situation and do our best to minimize the damage to our physiological and psychological well-being. We can take better care of ourselves so that we have enough resources available to offer our best to society.
Can we consider the possibility that it is not politics, a group of politicians or a particular politician that is causing our stress levels to be unmanageable, but rather, that we do not have adequate coping resources to effectively manage the intensity of emotion that arises in response to these topics? If we wait for our side to win, we are putting our personal well-being in the hands of voters that we have no control over and politicians who care more about their jobs than about us. That seems like a frighteningly disempowered way to live.
I don’t care who you are voting for. I care that you are a human being and that you may be struggling because the stress of living in this world is affecting you physically, mentally or emotionally. I invite you to reclaim your personal power by noticing how you may be manifesting the experience of “too much” in your body. Once you have a sense of how your body is responding to the overload, I encourage you to explore internal resources, personal tools, that you can call upon to support you through the election, the pandemic and any other challenging life circumstances that come your way. It seems important to remember that even if (when?) life gets easier than it is today, it will never be easy.
OBSERVE - CHOOSE - INTEGRATE
In this section, I offer suggestions for applying the themes discussed above to your life. The more aware you are of your patterns of thought, emotion and behavior, the better able you will be to make choices that will enhance your health (physical, mental, emotional, relational and spiritual) and happiness. As you integrate more life-enhancing choices into your days, you will create a lifestyle that optimizes your well-being.
OBSERVE
Have you noticed any new physical symptoms, aches, discomfort or dis-ease in your body?
Have you noticed that a pre-existing area of vulnerability has gotten worse?
How do you feel in your physical body when you listen to the news or engage is a conversation about politics? What sensations do you notice? Are you aware, for example, of any tension, constriction, tightening, comfort, pleasure, warmth, coolness, movement, immobility?
Have you noticed any signs of emotional dis-ease?
Are you feeling unusually irritable, sad, depleted, frustrated, impatient, hopeless, helpless, anxious, agitated or apathetic?
How do these emotions feel in your body? What are the physical sensations that go along with those feelings? For example, are you aware of heaviness, tightness, constriction, sluggishness, raciness or jumpiness?
CHOOSE
Boost your self care practices
Identify self-care strategies that address the physical or psychological issues you are feeling today.
Examples:
If your body feels tense in response to the news, perhaps you could take a bath instead of reading another article.
If you feel frustrated at the end of the day, maybe try taking a walk in nature to remind yourself that there is a bigger picture and to feel the ground beneath your feet. While the weather is changing and it is cooler and darker, consider investing in solid footwear and warm layers.
If your back aches, you could try to get a safely provided massage, ask someone you live with to massage your back or look into purchasing a self-massaging device.
If you are feeling agitated, try moving your body in a way that releases some energy.
If you are feeling sad, irritable, helpless, hopeless and apathetic, you might be experiencing symptoms of depression. While these symptoms may have been brought out by the pandemic and/or politics, it may be advisable to seek psychological assistance to help you address them, rather than hoping you will feel better if and when the external circumstances change.
Choose to engage in uplifting, nourishing activities that are available to you right now
Examples:
Listen to music, get creative, take a socially distanced walk with a friend, practice yoga, read a good book, explore poetry, listen to podcasts on subjects that interest you.
Choose to avoid activities that deplete you or induce strain or tension to the degree possible
Turn down the noise and quiet your mind with mindfulness or meditation practices
You can use an App such as Insight Timer, Calm or Headspace to get you started or keep you going in your meditation practice.
MOVE INTO ACTION
One of the most helpful ways to address feelings of frustration, powerlessness or helplessness is to actively engage in pursuits that support your desire for change.
Instead of giving up or giving in, consider becoming active in organizations that provide meaningful support for your candidate or position.
Examples:
Join a group involved in letter writing to encourage people to vote.
Participate in peaceful protests or rallies to support your candidate or position.
Express your passion for a position in writing, poetry, song, etc.
The most recent winner of America’s Got Talent, Brandon Leake, is a gifted spoken word poet who conveys his pain and passion about race, loss and hope in his inspiring performances throughout the 2020 season.
INTEGRATE
When it feels like the outside world is just too much, please remember that we always have the world inside, the inner realm over which we have a better chance of affecting change. While life is not easy, I hope you find the resources inside of yourself to bring even 5% more ease into your day. Remember, you are always enough.